14/2/2022
My Dear Mutsumi,
Today I am not writing you because of Haruka. I hope you can forgive me.
I’ve realized that I’ve restarted to love life after you reconnected with me… It has been a long journey though. A lot of sufferance but I had the chance to reborn.
I remember when you suggested me: “find a role in the society”. It is incredible, often I am again happy after work. I have to admit that now I find beautiful to try to work well. And sometimes people tell me they are happy for my work.
Even though I cannot buy anything with these words and I cannot buy future for Haruka, I go back at home and I feel happy. I will never be rich… I am slow and slowed by the disease. But I want to be a professional, for a while.
I hope you reckon that the fact I still love you, even though you are out of my life, is not a threat toward you.
Writing this mail is a way to ease my psychological condition, my loneliness. I understand that is a burden for you.
So forgive me for this mail but I still remember the woman I met in Toronto, the woman that helped me so much, the woman who gave me a chance, and the woman who gave me the direction to take in this life. I have to express these feelings, I need to express them. But I don’t expect anything. Not even that you read my mail.
A kiss to Haruka.
Take care.
Bye.
Andrea
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