Pagine

Monday, July 30, 2018

I CAN'T WIN


Dear Haruka,

I try to have a right relationship with you but the law in Japan isn't fair and good.

I hope that you will not upset with me because I fight for my rights. 

And I hope you will not have problems with Japanese rules in your life; that's the reason why I cannot give up.

Unfortunately, the social-legal structure of Japan, is lacking and raw; based solely on violence and on suppression of rights, totally not adequate, and with no elements of functional refinement.

Hold on!

Bye!

Your Father!

MY GARDEN HAS HAD 2 DAISIES




Dear Haruka,

just to let you know that my garden have had two daisies... one is you and the other is your...

I have taken this photo in a trip on the mountains, where my father brought me when I was young. Will we have experiences to sheare in life? Places that will remember teachings and emotions?

I really don't know...

I want just to say that when I am around I always think of you and your mother...

Bye!

OTOSAN




Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Dreams + cousin + Haruka’s present

July, 22nd 2018


Dear Mutsumi,

I keep dreaming Haruka when I sleep. It is not easy living in this way.

Yesterday my Cousin from Sanremo came to see me. I reconnected with him when we married. So the main topics were about our condition and about the divorce. He cannot understand why I am not upset with you and I still say how important was for me meeting you in my life. But that is true.

I still wait for a sign from you about Haruka’s present for her Birthday. Please, let me know what she may desire.

I have realized, not long time ago, your strategy: you wanted to cut any relationship so you can show to the Court that I disappeared and you can have your divorce easily. I don’t consider it fair at all, because I really wanted to try to do my part and I really cannot forget you and our daughter.

I hope that you may reconsider your attitude toward me soon, especially after the divorce, because I cannot live in this way for too long. And now the most part of the Trial has set, so you may reconsider the fact I may send presents and gifts to Haruka.

Bye.

Andrea





flooding + Haruka's birthday present

July, 11th 2018


Ciao Cara Mutsumi,

I've heard about flooding in Japan, I hope you all are well.

Next month there is Haruka's birthday, I take the chance to ask you the autorization to send a present.
I know that it isn't the moment to send anything, but I cannot forget about her important moment. I have a little amount of money in Yen,  I may give to her and I would like to send it through a letter for Haruka. Or if you reckon I can buy here something she likes and send with a package. Else I may buy something on Amazon Japan and let it arrives to your home (so there aren't border fees to pay). You may simply paste the internet adress of the product she likes on a e-mail and I will buy it (no need of more explanations).

If I will not receive any answer, I will send a letter with the money at the end of the month.

Ciao!

Andrea

1A + nHP +T2 * T - ( - K) = ?

June, 30th 2018


Dear Mutsumi,

here the points I want to discuss:

(1A).
First of all, I Apologize for the letter I have sent to the Court, but I have to state my point and defend myself. (Only one apology).

(nHP).
As always I ask if you may send Haruka’s Photos. (It isn’t defined the amount of photos: n = 1, 2, 3, 4, ....... , +∞).

(T2 * T).
Thank You for the experiences you let me live.
Thank You because however you create the conditions I will be free too.

It was a matter of Time. I can accept how things are going; you had to give me time and compromise a little more instead of humiliating me.

(K).
Today I’ve learnt a new Japanese word: Kyun (キュン). It is a feeling I have always felt for you whenever I’ve met you or thought about you.

(?).
I still don’t know the Japanese word to express the feeling I have when I see a father and a daughter together, hand in hand or in bicycle, and I think I cannot have a relationship with Haruka.


Bye.

Andrea

第 2 準 備 書 面 (mine)

June, 11th 2018



平成29年(家ホ)第11号 離婚等請求事件
原  告 川   内   睦   美
被  告 メネゲッティ、 アンドレア

平成30年6月11日

新潟家庭裁判所長岡支部 御中

被告 メネゲッティ、アンドレア 


第 2 準 備 書 面


昭和39年判決、及び平成8年判決について:
未だ被告が「行方不明」であるとすることに関しては充分解決しているため、上記各判決は本件に適用できない。

原告の第2準備書面の日本語原文をまだ受け取っていないことをここに明記する。

原告の準備書面の主張一つひとつに対し返答するのは金銭と時間の浪費であり、これは被告の意図するところではない。なぜなら同書面は、虚偽と曖昧さに満ちており、いい加減な日付の記載があり、また、Eメールから文を一部抜き出して妄用したり、承認したかと思えば下の行でそれを撤回したりしているからである。このような書面に返答することは不可能である。

以下、口頭弁論期日に出席することによる被告の不利益と事実上の障害について述べる。
-        裁判所は、公明正大な態度を示さなければならない。
-        裁判所は、摂食障害についての適格性を示さなければならない。
-        裁判所は、被告の最低限の権利の保護を保証するため、権限を有することを示さなければならない。
-        被告は、(イタリア語訳のみ受領した書面に記載されているように)警察署に出頭するよう警察に呼ばれた、のではなく、原告の住居の外で計画的待ち伏せに遭った被害者である。被告は、自動車に押し付けられ、警察署に連行され、そこで4時間に渡り引き留められた。そこでは行動の自由を奪われ、摂食も許されない状況のもと屈辱と嘲りを受けただけでなく、酷い精神的苦痛と脅しを受けた。
-        警察に対し駐日イタリア大使館は、被告が連行され引き留められていた動機、及び被告が受けた脅しや処置の動機を明らかにするよう正式に要請したが、警察は回答していない。
-        第一回口頭弁論期日、裁判官は被告に対し、まるで被告自身の権利の放棄を促すような形で、月一度の日本での口頭弁論に出席するよう命じた。
-        被告の権利を保護できる弁護士を見つけることは事実上不可能である。日本に滞在するイタリア共和国国籍を有する父親達で同様の状況に置かれている人たちに会って話をしたことで、このことは再確認されている。
-        原告は裁判所からの書面提出要請に対し、3ヶ月遅れて回答をしている(被告による遅延だった場合、果たして同じようにみてもらえただろうか)。
-        元々、第一回口頭弁論期日の呼出に関する送付書類(相当な遅延)には、答弁するに必要な書類が全て入っていると裁判所が主張しているにも関わらず、全ての書類は入っていなかった。同時に、返信用の受領書に署名したことで、原告の主張を全て認めるものとみなされた。
-        日本の法律による裁判の迅速の理念とは、人の権利をさしおいて先にするということなのか。

上記のことを踏まえ、これらを前提条件とするのであれば、このような状況では、なんらかの判定を下すのは、それが単なる離婚であろうと、難しいことになる。
単なる離婚とはいえ、ここでは一人の子の人生に関わり、その子の人生はこの状況に強い打撃を受け、また影響される。そして、また、一人の妻の人生にも関わってくる。彼女は精神的にひどく病んでおり、自分自身からも自分を保護してもらう権利を有する。現在の日本は、被告も原告をも守ることができない。おそらく「法治国家」そのものが欠如しているのであろう。
要するに、被告にとって唯一重要なのは、全員が夫々の責任を果たして、今後のためにも、提示可能及び追跡可能な法的真実に辿り着くことである。なぜなら、裁判の判決が言い渡されれば、子とその母親の抱える問題に構う人は誰もいなくなるであろうからである。そして、もし何かが起きた場合、あるいは何かしらの支えが必要となった場合、手助けをするのは裁判官でも(姿を隠すような)警察でもない。被告は、一人の父親として、また夫として、下された判断が記録として残されること、それがまた誰によって下されたものかが記録として残されることを要請する。のちに適切な場で使用したり、子の将来を保証するために必要となったりすることも考慮してのことである。

最後に、平成30年11月19日、被告はウディネ大学で摂食障害についての修士論文の口頭試問に臨むことが決定しているため、同年10月25日から10月31日、及び同年11月15日から20日は日本に滞在することは不可能であることを告げる。仮に、口頭弁論期日を決定することになった場合には、上記の旨を考慮して頂けるようお願い申し上げる。

以上



Per quanto riguarda le Sentenze del 1964 e del 1996: richiamare ancora che il convenuto “ è irrintracciabile” è ampiamente superato e quindi le due sentenze diventano inapplicabili.


Si informa che non si è ricevuta la versione in lingua giapponese della Memoria istruttoria 2.

Non è intenzione del convenuto rispondere per punti alle memorie istruttorie dell’attrice visto che risulterebbe una perdita di danaro e di tempo. Infatti non si può rispondere ad un testo pieno di falsità, inesattezze, date sparate a casaccio, speculazioni su frasi di e-mail estrapolate dal loro contesto, ammissioni e ritrattazioni di fatti nel giro di poche righe.

Per quanto riguarda gli svantaggi e gli ostacoli pratici del convenuto a comparire in udienza si richiama che:
 - Il Tribunale deve ancora dimostrare equità e imparzialità.
-  Il Tribunale deve dimostrare competenza sulla materia dei Disturbi del Comportamento Alimentare.
- Il Tribunale deve ancora dimostrare di avere l’autorità per garantire i diritti minimi al convenuto.
-  Il convenuto non è stato invitato dalla Polizia a presentarsi in caserma (come c’è scritto nel testo che è arrivato solo in italiano), ma è stato vittima di un agguato premeditato al fuori della casa dell’attrice: il convenuto è stato spinto su un’auto e portato in caserma dove è stato trattenuto per quattro ore, dove ha subito violenze psicologiche e minacce! Oltre ad offese e derisioni in condizioni di deprivazione alimentare e di libertà fisica.
- La polizia non ha risposto alle varie richieste ufficiali dell’Ambasciata italiana di motivazione riguardo al fatto che il convenuto sia stato prelevato e trattenuto e riguardo alle minacce e prescrizioni che ha subito.
-  Il Giudice durante l’udienza ha intimato il convenuto a doversi presentare ogni mese in Giappone, come forma di persuasione a rinunciare ai propri diritti.
- C’è l’impossibilità di fatto di trovare un avvocato che possa difendere i diritti del convenuto. Circostanza ulteriormente confermata dal colloquio con altri padri italiani che si trovano nella stessa condizione, presenti sul suolo giapponese.
- L’attrice ha risposto alle richieste del Tribunale con un ritardo di tre mesi. (Se il convenuto avesse fatto ritardo sarebbe stato valutato nello stesso modo?)
- Già nei documenti inviati (molto in ritardo) per la prima convocazione al convenuto, il Tribunale non aveva inserito tutte le carte necessarie per la risposta, nonostante ne dichiarasse la presenza. Nel contempo considerava la firma della ricevuta di ritorno come accettazione di tutto ciò che veniva dichiarato dall’attrice.
- L’esigenza di rapidità di giudizio richiamata nella legislazione giapponese, significa soprassedere ai diritti delle persone?

Alla luce di tutto ciò, se questi sono i presupposti,  si evince che è difficile celebrare un giudizio, seppur di un mero divorzio, in queste condizioni.
Un semplice divorzio che però riguarda anche la vita di una bambina che sarà fortemente colpita e influenzata da questa situazione e di una moglie che essendo gravemente malata dal punto di vista mentale ha comunque il diritto di essere salvaguardata, anche da se stessa. Il Giappone al momento non può garantire né il convenuto né l’attrice. Forse perché manca proprio uno “Stato di Diritto”.
E quindi l’unico interesse del convenuto è giungere ad una verità giuridica dove tutti si devono prendere le proprie responsabilità, dimostrabili e tracciabili, anche per il futuro. Perché quando il giudizio del Tribunale sarà stato emesso, nessuno si occuperà più dei problemi della bambina e della madre. E se succederà qualcosa o se sarà necessario un sostegno di qualsiasi tipo, non sarà il giudice o il responsabile della polizia (che si nascondeva) ad aiutare. Però il convenuto come padre e marito richiede che ci sia traccia delle decisioni prese e da chi sono state prese. Anche per rivalersi in futuro nelle sedi opportune o per garantire la vita futura della bambina.

Si informa infine che in data 19 Novembre 2018, il convenuto discuterà la Tesi del Master sui Disturbi del Comportamento Alimentare all’Università degli Studi di Udine e quindi dal 25 al 31 Ottobre e dal 15 al 20 Novembre il convenuto non potrà essere presente in Giappone. Si prega di tenerne conto se si decidesse di definire la data di eventuali udienze.

What will it remain?

June, 8th 2018

Dear Mutsumi,

the letter for the Court arrived, now, may you send a photo of Haruka?

I was unsure if I had to send another letter to the Court... but if I don’t answer I will not see Haruka anymore and I have already sent to the translator the text... so other money to spend... Monday or Tuesday I will send everything.

I wonder what will it remains after all this?

I really don’t want fight you anymore... but I cannot give up: I want respect for my role of father and husband.

Divorcing now is the only thing to do however.

When you left me I didn’t want to lose you, I died inside.
But you have done the right thing leaving me.
I have tried to be better. In the last 3-4 years I have done huge efforts to show that I was able to maintain a family. In some way some results arrived, I succeeded in putting apart some money for Haruka, but the reality cannot be changed: I just succeeded in maintaining myself in a decent way. If I had to maintain also a wife, I would have had a lot of difficulties and sacrifices. And I am always floundering among insomnia, fatigue, energy drops, crazy ideas, fantastic and unrealizable dreams, nervousness.

So the only thing I really think (forget what I have to write for the trial) is that I want to thank you! Thank you for the big effort you made to try to transform me in a complete person. I will be grateful to you forever because you opened up my eyes and showed me that I am not doing enough, I am always complaining without fight enough for this life that isn’t easy and I always want to live like a child, just enjoying it. But having a family doesn’t allow to have this way to live.

I have realized that I am just not fitted.

At the same time try to understand that I suffer thinking at you at my daughter, even if she doesn’t know me. Even if I am not enough! I am a person with feelings!

My worry is that after this trial you will have financial problems and you may lose your freedom.
I shouldn’t say, but you know that if you need some help, even though you will make me suffer again, even though you will humiliate me again, I will be always ready. I can be upset with you but I really cannot hate you.

I feel bad following this trial. When the letter arrived few days ago I felt a pain in the chest. I think often how bad you may feel as well. We should had found a better way to compromise. Because after this trial it will remain only ruins and debris. Nothing to create a new future and a good new relationship.

Bye.

Andrea

P.S. I will think at our experience all the remaining days of my life. And before exhaling my last breath, I will have the last thought of gratitude for you! Or at least, I hope to have just thought to one of our best moments, so I will have the chance to die with happiness.

第 2 準 備 書 面 translated (+ memoria n.1 tradotta)

June, 05 2018











tu sei bellissima e io ero innamoratissimo

June, 3rd 2018

Dear Mutsumi,

I have succeeded in putting apart the monthly money for Haruka. I am happy since I am not earning much in this period since I am doing the internship for the degree in Eating Disorders at the university.

Sometimes (quite often though) I dream that I have a daughter, that she is in danger or that we cannot meet at the railway station because we don’t know the face of each other, it is exhausting...

Now I have the fear that Haruka don’t want to know me during her life, because if it happens, I will not have a reason to go ahead...

It is not possible to live in this way.

I would like to see her. I would like to know her.

Please Mutsumi, Please, send at least a photo of her so I know she is alive...

If I have no information from you, I think that sooner or later I will buy a flight ticket or I will contact the Italian Embassy in order to check your health and that of Haruka. But I don’t want to do it because the travel is expensive and it is almost 6 months of the money I can put apart for Haruka. I have to save money for Haruka’s life!

Another important thing: I have to decide what home to buy. If it is your intention to bring Haruka in Italy sometimes, I could buy the one I am living in, where there are two bathrooms and a matrimonial room (double room) where you and Haruka can have your space (the apartment isn’t at the seaside as you liked though). If you think you’ll never bring Haruka in Italy I will buy a smaller apartment (but I don’t know where since I don’t have any reason to stay in a place or in another – my only reason were you!).

Bye for now.

Andrea

P.S.: Here the link of a group of Japanese-Italian children, couples and families that meet in Tokyo sometimes:

a decent future...

May, 21st 2018

Dear Mutsumi,

I am surrendering... Saturday I have spent a lot of money to stay outside with another woman... I have brought her at home too, but I haven’t felt anything. I was just waiting that she went away as soon as possible. I was crying inside because I would liked have you with me.

But after four years of sufferance I surrendered... I feel bad, also because the money is needed for the future of Haruka and have wasted them (now it will take time to recover them).
The loneliness, the empty house, nobody to speak with, nobody to caress, nobody to share emotions with, nobody to share the few money earned... and so I failed...

I cannot forget you because you are too special, nobody can be compared to you... you are too ahead... The emotions I have felt with you cannot be reproduced, cannot be replicated...

I care only about you and Haruka.
I don’t know how is the situation with the divorce and I don’t care. I will not give up however.
I just ask this: Please help me to stay stick on my tasks!
Because I feel that I am giving up... Don’t let me forget that I have a daughter!

Bye.

Andrea


P.S. For me was enough stay with you... If you don’t want to see me anymore is all right for me and I have already accepted it because I live with the remembrances of you... every day you are with me... but Haruka is a hole in me, please let us create a relationship is important also for her...

Mother's day

May, 13th 2018


Happy Mother's Day to you and a kiss to our Daughter!

giving up...

May, 1st 2018


Unico Amore, (Unique Love)
Unico Amore che è stato possibile Possibile, (Only Love that has been possible)


It has been one month since I have received the last photo of Haruka. I hoped to receive one also today. I know that the last time you sent the photo was just because you are kind.

I feel that I am giving up... I really hope to have the strength to put always apart the money for Haruka. She deserve it because it isn’t her fault if we are so different. It isn’t her fault if the father is a dreamer...

Today here in Italy is Holiday... so these are the days when I feel down due to our condition and I feel the emptiness of the home...

It would be easy go out and having fun. But I have to resist and save money for her (it is not enough anyway, I should have more).

However, even though I don’t have new photos of her, writing to you helps me to find the will to go ahead. I hope you understand even though I bother you in this way.

Bye.

Andrea

like a train...

April, 22nd 2018

Amore che è stato stupendo, (Love that has been wonderful,)
Amore che non c'è più, (Love that no longer exists,)

yesterday I was attending a conference where the spokeswoman was saying how important are both parents for children. 

Suddenly I was hit in the chest with a pain. It was only a great emotion. It was like a train has run over me though. It took a while before I could recover.
I started thinking that I have a daughter and I cannot suppress my feelings and my guiltiness. I cannot live hiding this fact and my worries for our child.

I cannot speak to anybody about it. There is only you involved.

I hope that one day we can find a good agreement.

Bye.

Andrea

Thoughts + Court letter

April, 14th 2018


Amore Bello, Amore Caro, (Beautiful Love, Dear Love,)

More the time is passing and more I realize how much important you have been for my life!

Last week I made a bad mistake. I have payed a person that didn’t given me the service required. I had a doubt, but however I have payed. It has been because I have been too weak! After I was frustrated. The sum is ridiculous, but however I felt bad. Because in order to avoid problems, I have payed. I shouldn’t!

I have thought: “If Mutsumi and Haruka were relying on me and on my work, that money could be very important... I haven’t understood anything and I am not changed at all!”. “Could I return at home, if I had a family, after a so ridiculous error of incapacity?”. “Mutsumi had done the right thing cutting the relationship...”

In the following days, I have kept working, focusing in the need to hold on like you have taught me (trying to avoid to dream!).

Yesterday it was a good day. And in some way I have recovered the money. In fact with the good and qualified job I was hired for (teaching in a course of food safety), in few hour I earned the double of the amount of the money I have lost.

Yes, the error remains, but at least following your advices about work, now I can earn more money and in an easier way. And two female students tried to have a chance to see me after the course. Clearly I didn’t picked up the message (I was surprised anyway...).

When I was in the car back for home, I was thinking of you and saying how much fortunate I have been meeting you. And I have remembered the days when you were in Venice the first time, with me unshaven, a little dirty, always complaining... I really don’t know how you resisted. Thank you! You changed my life. I am still struggling but I see something good. I try to be more tidy and I think I am more cheerful with the others now, I give more, even though I am always making my “counts”.

In the car I have also thought about your right to have the divorce. For me it is painful, because I have really loved you, but it is your right to be free and have a new life. And also for me, if possible, to find another person to give the love I have inside instead keeping writing to you and bothering you.

I have spoken about a generic another person (male or female), because I haven’t chosen you because you were woman, beautiful, with milky skin, juicy lips, black hair etc.. I have chosen you in Toronto, when you came back from school in the morning, giving me farewell in December 2006 in the hall of the Youth Hostel. I still remember that day! I cannot forget. I have chosen you because you are beautiful inside. The fact that we are not completely matched, is another story.

The problem now is still the fact that in our two countries sons are considered in different ways and I cannot forget about my daughter, even though she wouldn’t meeting me.

By the way, I haven’t received your letter for the Court from you yet. I am not in hurry to divorce however, but is it everything ok?

Bye.

Andrea

Re: Advices and photos

March, 31st 2018

Dear Mutsumi,

I really thank you for the photo!

Few days ago I have sent a letter to the Court, to you and to your lawyer. I don’t know if you have received yet.

I have written it more than one month ago. The translation has taken its time. So don’t consider it as an aggressive action when you have it. It is only the same policy I have chosen in order to manage the situation.

I have considered really favourably your choice to send the photo. I really didn’t expect to receive it. I am really surprised.
If it is possible I will give you back in some way your kindness.

I stop around here because I know I have asked too much and I am bothering.

Bye.

Andrea


P.S. In some way the photo has hurt me because seeing all those drawings on the windows lets me know the distance I have with my daughter. I will never know my daughter.
However the most important thing is that she is alive... And that is enough...

Advices and photos

March, 31st 2018


Mio Bellissimo Amore, (My Beautiful Love,)

this you has been and this is what you are in my mind. Even though our relationship is finished.

How are you doing? I don’t have news from you from a while.

I will never forget you. And this isn’t a menace. It is just because you have been the person I have loved most in my life.

I still remember the dizziness and the giddiness I felt in Himi (Toyama Prefecture) watching you. Something incredible. Pure LOVE!
I remember when we were eating the ice-cream in the backyard of your house in April 2014 and we had a real speech between husband and wife.
I remember the day you brought us something to drink in the field.
And I have many other beautiful memories.
When I feel down or I am tired from the work, I remember those sweet and pleasant moment. For me those memories are all my life.

You are free. Soon you will be also divorced...

Yes, I felt jealousy in the past years thinking of you with another man and the fact anybody could have a relationship with my daughter and I couldn’t. It has been hard!

The sad part is that we have lost some of the best years of our lives with this fight and we haven’t focused on Haruka’s sake.

I always look for your good advices in my memories. I try to remember them when I have some moment when I restart to dream and living 10 cm above the ground... It happens... It happens again and often too... That’s why I think you have done the right thing leaving me. I would have been a continuous source of stress for you.

Some days, when I have to choose what to do or I start dreaming new projects, I think “What Mutsumi would say about this?” or “Mutsumi would be unhappy of my way to act so it isn’t a good thing to do...”. I know, it is too much but that’s me... And you have been really important.

You have been such a lucky chance for me...

Here it is Easter time. I know that I am writing too much in the last period, but this holiday force me to think. If you can bury the hatchet for this days and send a photo of Haruka, I would really appreciate it! So I can see if she is going well and indirectly, I can know you are still there.

Take care!

Bye!

Andrea