This time I don't swallow the bait!

November 12th 2017

My Dear Mutsumi,

first of all I am sorry that I have ruined your week-end.

I want to let you know that I don't want to read or listen sentences like “I was bad luck for you” because you have been the most important thing happened into my life.

Everyone gets what he deserves. When I have chosen you, I was ready to get the full package.

It might be we are not completely matched, but you have taught me very important things that I am still trying to completely implement.

I am sad only because we have lost the best years of our life and we have lost a lot of money.

You have accepted me when basically nobody did and tried to pull out something good from me.

I was living a life in a never-ending dream, keeping complaining every day and without the capacity to find a target in life or a career.

I was silly and idle too.

If you reckon that you had enough of me, it is your right to be free. It is hard to accept it because I have really loved you and I still have you in mind every day. After all, what kind of love it would have been if I could have forgot you easily?

I stop around here for this topic.

The problem is another.

My targets now are two.

1- I need to have a “legal truth” for the process we are doing. I want that there is a trace that I haven't abandoned my daughter. I want this for the future of Haruka itself mainly, but also for my family in Italy: they cannot understand the situation.

I have to demonstrate to Haruka, if she will look for me in the future, that I have done my part. And this will be extremely important: in the future there might be other problems (like health problems, school problems, social problems etc.). I don't want to deepen too much this point.

However, the responsibility for this situation and the points of view have to be clear. If you have underestimate this, it isn't my fault.

2- Establish a relationship with Haruka.

So, even though I receive the letter of your lawyer, it doesn't change anything. At the moment I don't have a trace of my efforts and I don't have a relationship set with Haruka.

I have asked many time to have the chance to see Haruka. For an answer (usually a refuse) I have to wait always so long. In this few months before the trial, what can be done to resolve this situation?

I cannot rely on your promises. If I hadn't fight till now, I would never have seen Haruka in my life. And receiving one photo every month is only a little moment of relief, but the nightmares I have in nights because I have a daughter that I don't know and that I am not helping, remain.

You and your lawyer have played in order to exhaust me. The meeting in Tokyo has been a disaster, made only to extort me your wills. After the divorce what may I expect?

I cannot not even imagine what you might propose after the divorce; there isn't even a hint. After the divorce everything will be finished. Already now you are not listening me and avoiding to find a compromise; after the divorce I will have to forget also to receive the photos...

Just after our relationship had broken, I would have easily surrendered if I had received a mail like your last one. You know it and you often have taken advantage of it. But now I have become stronger. After the heavy humiliations I undergone from you. After the insensibility you had shown when I have asked to see Haruka, with tears in my eyes, when my mother was just died. After this three years when you have left me alone.

I have to be sincere that you have shown me the way to be stronger. And the need to be stronger in life! Stronger for our-self and for our-own family. I have to thank you for this!

So, I don't have any problem to let you know my strategy now: I am trying to gain time!

The translation isn't so expensive for me (especially if compared in losing a daughter). In Japan I don't think I have to pay anything for the trial given the fact I haven't asked anything to anybody. I am just considering if it is better just be there the 5^th without sending any letter, so it will take more time to finish the procedure.

About parental authority, I agree that Haruka needs to stay with you, for me it is really, really important. But there is a point you are not considering. I don't want to unveil it yet, but I think that if the Court will listen me (quite impossible though) it may shed a new light on all the situation.

Even though it may seem that I am very pugnacious, in reality I am just trying to find a fair solution. I don't want to take advantage of you, because you are a really good person and you don't deserve to be won. I want solely what I deserve and I want respect for my figure as a father.

In conclusion I will be at the trial. And I want to see Haruka. Let me know when we will meet. Stop playing.

Bye for now.

Andrea