3/1/2021
Dear Mutsumi,
Thank you for the monthly photos you sent the other day.
Today I don't ask when I will have the chance to meet Haruka (even though it is my first thought every day!).
Instead I want to concentrate on the fact I feel fortunate having met you.
I see the wives and mates of my friends and the feeling I have is disbelief. And sometimes also disgust. I really don't understand how they may have spent their lives together. I see boredom, mutual disinterest, mutual impatience. In the best cases!
You never believed in my appreciations about you. When I used to say "you are more beautiful than Audrey Hepburn", I really meant that. I liked you in all versions. The simplest in Toronto, the more refined when we reconnected, etcetera.
But you never accepted it... you were always suspicious. Like there was something behind my words.
In this period I am telling you that it has been important for me having met you. I do it because I mean it. Is it silly? I don't care!
Sometimes I think how things would have gone without Haruka. Would have I given the divorce easily? Would have we connected again sometimes after the divorce? Who knows… But our reality is this.
My goal now is to try to maintain our friendship because you have been so important in my life and you are the mother of our daughter. If you are scared that there might be something else behind my words, don't worry because there isn't.
Instead I want to concentrate on the fact I feel fortunate having met you.
I see the wives and mates of my friends and the feeling I have is disbelief. And sometimes also disgust. I really don't understand how they may have spent their lives together. I see boredom, mutual disinterest, mutual impatience. In the best cases!
You never believed in my appreciations about you. When I used to say "you are more beautiful than Audrey Hepburn", I really meant that. I liked you in all versions. The simplest in Toronto, the more refined when we reconnected, etcetera.
But you never accepted it... you were always suspicious. Like there was something behind my words.
In this period I am telling you that it has been important for me having met you. I do it because I mean it. Is it silly? I don't care!
Sometimes I think how things would have gone without Haruka. Would have I given the divorce easily? Would have we connected again sometimes after the divorce? Who knows… But our reality is this.
My goal now is to try to maintain our friendship because you have been so important in my life and you are the mother of our daughter. If you are scared that there might be something else behind my words, don't worry because there isn't.
I Like my freedom. I want to remain free.
When I feel down, I think at the love I have felt for you. If for you hasn’t been the same, it doesn't matter. It is something I have inside me and nobody and nothing can change it or delete it. Till I will be alive.
When I feel down, I think at the love I have felt for you. If for you hasn’t been the same, it doesn't matter. It is something I have inside me and nobody and nothing can change it or delete it. Till I will be alive.
Yes, it is true, sometimes I make appreciations about you. Even though I shouldn't. It's a feeling that I cannot suppress. It's a feeling I don't want to suppress. If you are scared about these type of messages, let them pass with disinterest.
We both have been victims of social violence and we had problems to manage it. I have grown with our relationship. We together have done a beautiful daughter that we both strongly wanted. Our duty now is to let Haruka having a good life and the most free possible (at least this is my idea).
We both have been victims of social violence and we had problems to manage it. I have grown with our relationship. We together have done a beautiful daughter that we both strongly wanted. Our duty now is to let Haruka having a good life and the most free possible (at least this is my idea).
Bye!
Andrea
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