In all honesty…

10/4/2021 

Dear Mutsumi

Today I was thinking about meeting as soon as possible with Haruka.

Usually, when I have these thoughts I start to be nervous because I think that you don’t care about these issues.

So, too many times, I have written heavy letters and you usually get sick.

In the last period I have tried to stay calm. You haven’t answered to my questions and I haven’t insisted.

In my new philosophy is to avoid to hit you. Because I really don’t want that you feel bad. I don’t want any kind of revenge. I really want that you stay well. (This new philosophy derived by your precise and clear point of view about my errors and incapacities so I have tried to change. It takes time to be better, but I ask to myself to persist in this effort.)

At the same time I suffer. Sometime I feel discharged roughly.

So I decided to express plainly my ideas and needs, without be aggressive. (I think I am aggressive when I feel abused, undervalued, underestimated. When I am not considered in my needs.). I decided that it is important to express my point of view, without be violent or threatening. It is something I owe you (for the importance you had in my life) but I have to accomplish also for having a proper life.

With this letter I would like to know if you are considering fulfilling the divorce agreement. I would like to know if you have an idea how to recover the many days and hours I still have as right in order to meet Haruka. I would like to know when we can start some online meeting. I would like to know if you are ready to organize a meeting as soon as the borders are opened for foreigners in Japan.

I hope you can answer to my questions if you feel like those are appropriated. If you don't feel like to answer I will try to endure, calmly.

With this letter I have lowered my anxiety. I hope I have been respectful of you and your feelings. I really hope you don’t feel hit by my words and questions in any way.

With deep and real sincerity.

Bye.

Andrea