I almost cried... of joy!

 24/10/2020 

Dear Mutsumi,

I have been deeply hit by your last mail. So I apologize if I disturb you again.

Two days ago I almost cried of joy! I am working for various companies as free lance and the boss of one of them phoned and told me “Andrea, I want let you know that our clients are saying that you are good and competent in your field. We are having good feed-backs. I wanted let you know it because it is important for you and for our company in this hard period.” Few days before an educational institution (a sort of school after high school or college) asked me to teach again for an on-line course. They asked me to teach more hours than the previous part of the course I held in June.

I tell you this because it has been possible to achieve these results only because I have known you. It is a sort of appreciation, a “prize”, for you I want to convey.

It has been 6 hard years for me. Before our separation you showed me the way to follow, telling me to go back on the primary field of my studies: food science. I have studied and worked hard and now I am achieving some results.

If I hadn’t known you, how miserable would be my life now? In Italy we are experiencing hard times. And for the first time I am in a good situation. It needs also a good amount of fortune. I am not working only in the food sector in order to meet the ends of the month expenses. The previous food factory where I started to work in 2017, it is going in bankruptcy mostly due to Covid 19. But luckily I have found another job so I can pay the mortgage of the apartment I want to buy (I need to buy it or I will be in a middle of a street).

Last week it has been quite hard for work commitments , especially because of my disease, but strangely I felt tired but not exhausted, as always happened in the last years (as you have seen so many times). I have learnt to manage my disease. And I try to avoid always complaining (following you teachings, again).

I keep doing many errors, strange choices, coming up with crazy ideas. So I am not saying I am changed. I am not saying that now I am a person to trust in. I am saying that without having known you and the chance you have given me, my life would be a complete disaster and not only partially broken. (I have always said that without you I would be a homeless now, a bum. I was in a big personal crisis before meet again with you in 2013. And in 2006 you have been the best meeting in my life, ever).

So I don’t know how to express toward you this gratitude I feel.

I have improved decidedly my life after meeting you and instead I have such bad effect on you. I am sad about that.

I want to let you know that you are a great person. I really think that! You are a precious gem in this world. Together we had a wonderful daughter and she needs you.

I have my defects. Heavy defects. You tried to overcome them. I failed. But be sure I don’t want to ruin your life. I don’t want harm you!

For you I will have always a special gratitude and a special place in my heart. I try always to keep in mind your teachings.

I really hope we may remain good friends. And be collaborative between us. I feel quite bad when I know that because of me you have heavy problems and low quality of life.

I stop here because, as usual, I have written too much!

Bye for now and thank you again!

Andrea