My point of view

4/11/2020

Dear Mutsumi,

Receiving your email and your request has been unexpected and destabilizing. Shocking in some way.

Today it is the first day I have a moment to answer, but I am thinking about it for days.

It is an hard period. I am working also some nights in a family-home for underage children where I am an educator. I am following some project in the food sector. I am helping in agriculture some friends. And in the spare time I am creating the lectures for the “Educational Institution” I was speaking to you few days ago. And a new lockdown is looming in Italy in these days. I am quite tired, physically and psychologically.

Now I will write in points to help me to be clear and synthetic (quite impossible for me though!).

1- My commitment in order to help for Haruka growth is forever.

2- I am worried because I don’t understand why you are asking now for child support.

3- You wrote <<And you may demand something because of that amount. I was scared of it and I have avoided getting money from you until now.>> I don’t have any particular requests if I give you some money. I have to help for Haruka. It is my duty. But I would like that you express clearly your fears about my possible requests. What are the requests are worrying you? Because there are cultural differences between Japan and Italy and it is better to be clear in order to avoid to keep fighting. I may make a request that is “normal” for me, but it might be something unacceptable for you.

4- Skype connections are written on the Divorce Settlement. So in my opinion you shouldn’t mix the two things. I want to help for Haruka, I have to help for Haruka. But the things written on the Divorce agreement are already set.

5- One year is passed and not all the parts of the Divorce Settlement are accomplished. I understand however that there are many problems, we have cultural differences, so I am not complaining about it. Telling that the Divorce Settlement isn’t completely followed is just a mere consideration without any form of retaliation. There is plenty of time to reach a good satisfaction for me. At the same time I think that sometimes you have given more of what is written on the Divorce Settlement and I thank you for it.

6- I am working, hard, but I am not earning so much.

7- Your request comes unexpected. I wasn’t ready. I have planned my life in a way that did not include to maintain a daughter, at least in the short term (However my idea was to put money apart for Haruka. In the next years it may be she needs, so I was planning on a midterm help). I have invested money in a project that needs more time to give out some results. And it might be I will fail, losing mostly of the amount of money invested. And I am still putting money and time in this project.  I invested a lot of money respect my economic capacity. I have invested a total of 60000€ (around 7380000¥). 15000€ of this money were Haruka’s money I put away in the years 2016-2018 when my situation was good. I am also paying a mortgage now,  for the apartment I am living in. The year 2019 has gone badly, also because of my health. The Year 2020 has started badly but now, unexpectedly my situation seems good, even though all around things are going worse and worse.

8- Your request is an opportunity. An opportunity I would like to try to fulfill.

9- You are giving a lot to Haruka. I cannot afford a so rich daughter. The money I can earn here in Italy is enough to live, but for Japan is nothing. In Italy I can raise and study a daughter, but for Japan it is impossible. How much do you think I should pass? What is an amount of money you consider appropriate?

10- For how long will last this period of fortune for me? In the case I can fulfill your idea, if for a period I cannot afford to pass to you the amount of money you require, what will it happen?

11- Passing you an amount of money means also that I have to renounce to something. I have to renounce to go out with friends, and enjoy life. I am ready to do these renounces though. At the same time, it implies I cannot have another family because I don’t have enough money. I have searched for it. However I have always considered that sooner or later I had to give something to Haruka.

I live well at the moment but anyway I have to pay attention on how I spend money.

But the real problem is my solitude. I know a lot of people, but I am basically alone. When I am back at home I feel the empty of my life. That is also the reason I invested so much money in a new business: so I am busy in doing something.

I need to fill my life. How are you ready to let me replenish my life and give me some joy knowing and experiencing the chance to be father? Also by distance.

12- I would like to know how you spend the money I pass you.

13- I would like to know how you think to manage a relationship between me and Haruka.

I have written a lot. I have other thoughts in my head at the moment. But I stop. I write always too much…

I want just to say another thing. You have given us a big opportunity deciding to marry. We have also reach some good result. I had at least a lot of joy and I have experienced the real love for someone else. I will remember it forever, with gratitude, as I have already said. I would like to seize also this opportunity you are proposing. It is not easy, for many reasons. Let me know your point of view when you can.

Thank you.

Bye.

Andrea

P.S. Remember that in any case, here there is always room for Haruka and you. Even if we are divorced.

For me you are important. And Haruka is especially important. I will be always ready to give you something when you need (Money and anything else. Even if in that moment I might have a relationship with someone else. The feelings I have felt for you cannot be duplicate; you have been unique). And if you need, remember that through Haruka, you can have the right to stay as long you want in Italy and consequently in Europe.

PP.SS. I hope in this letter there are not words and sentences who may afflict you.