another little step...

September the 21st, 2019

Dear Mutsumi,

Here some points I have to discuss with you.

1. Yesterday I have received the convocation of the Court for November 28th. I have received it through Italian Consulate: there is a big mess! This mess is made by the Italian Consulate because they haven’t translated everything and there are parts that I don’t understand at all. However, the Court should have sent the documents directly to me. So as soon as possible I will write to the Court saying that I don’t accept this type of “summons”. It is also required that I pay for the expenses! I understand that it was written well before our last communications, but I cannot accept and I have to write it back to the Court that I cannot accept all this.

And now we can restart to try to find a compromise.

About your last mail.

2. I can read in your mail an opening toward me. I have some fear and worries. But I cannot discard your opening. So I try to trust in you. And at the same time I will do some step back in my requests in order to facilitate our compromise, hoping that in the future you will let to create a full relationship with Haruka. I hope you will not take advantage from my goodness and good faith.

3. I accept the sentence “at least once a year” about the meetings with Haruka. It will be hard for me to be twice a year in Japan. I want to know now for how many days you will let me see Haruka every year. You have to declare a minimum amount of days. For me the minimum is 14 days per year (that is the reason why I wanted to be twice per year in Japan). If you prefer, you can add “starting from the 2022” so Haruka will be grown and she will may pass some day without the need you are with us, since in Japan you haven’t the chances to have long holidays.

4. About the Italian meetings, I don’t require that you define the places I can meet with Haruka. I want that you declare that Haruka should be in Italy at least once every three years. If you prefer, you can add “starting from the 2022” if you don’t feel sure about all the situation.

5. About Skype meetings, you can add “starting from the 2021”, but I require that we can reach a twice Skype meeting per month after a defined period of time. If we cannot meet on Skype for a month (because we all are busy), it isn’t a problem. But I want a periodical and clear way to follow how Haruka is growing.

6. I thank you for the fact you let Haruka receives my presents and photos. I thank you for the fact you let Haruka meets her relatives when she will be in Italy.

7. About the “compensation”. First of all, I will try to avoid to use this word again. I understand what you say about the fact wives ask for “child support expenses”. So, even though this last 4 years have been so hard for me, I will try to forget everything. At the same time, give me a sign you really want to let me creating a relationship with Haruka. So I propose this: a- We meet in November the 23rd and the 24th (since I still want to see Haruka before the Court Hearing because I want a proof I can trust in you). In those days I may sign the judicial settlement; b- You will let me see Haruka also November 28th (morning), the 29th and the 30th (as already scheduled). I will lose a lot of days of work in a period where I should be in Italy, but in this way I will have the chance to see Haruka for a long period and “recover” something for the heavy past I have undergone. There will be 3 days where I will be in Japan doing nothing, but what else can I do?

8. In the settlement you can add the sentence “we must not blame each other and each other’s families etc”. About it I was asking myself: “when have I blamed Mutsumi’s family or her?”. So I have read the mails I have sent to you. Well, effectively when I write about the fact I feel that your family has done violence to me, I understand that for you it is a blame toward you and your family. I haven’t checked every mail I have written but there are for sure other sentences that may have hurt you. So I ask a favor, from the deep of my heart: help me to reach the point of avoiding every blame and complaining. If you find a sentence where you consider there is a blame, an offence, a complaining, please let me note it. Don’t get upset, let me know it, and for sure I will avoid in the future to do it. I agree totally that in order to create a new relationship, every blame has to be avoided; we have to leave the past in the past. And avoiding every type of blame and any complaining, it will be easier to create the new relationship we need, especially for Haruka, and everything will go smoothly. I only ask to understand the psychological fatigue I have undergone, so something I write come out from the deep of me, but I agree with you it is time to avoid any blame, it is really important and after the divorce any blame will be without any meaning if you let me establish a relationship with Haruka. So, please help me to be “clean” and believe in my will to avoid any further fight and argue.

I think I have deepen everything I had to. If I have other things in mind, I let you know.

Bye for now.

Andrea